just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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