Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
