my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
