just survived the first fart of the relationship.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
