My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
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