Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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