Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
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