Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Randomize
