He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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