we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
