Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
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