I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
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