that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
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