I wish I could punch you in the face.
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
someone owes me an orgasm
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
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