Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Randomize
