My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize