Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
