She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize
