Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Randomize
