I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize
