All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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