I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
This toilet bowl is my home.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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