2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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