Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
