He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
