I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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