Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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