y did u give ur computer a hand job?
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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