I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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