He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
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