If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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