i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
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