just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
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