He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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