if you like me you must not know who I am
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
