just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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