We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
