This girl is more easily done than said...
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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