careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
Randomize
