Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Randomize
