He kissed a someone with a penis
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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