Kiss
Puke
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
