We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
