It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
my sisters under your porch take her home
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
