Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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