Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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