Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
