She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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