curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
You are a genius and a whore.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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