no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
