it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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