I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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