Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize
