Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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