i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
