I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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