But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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