i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
